Wham Bam Thank You Uncle Jed

Picture it. A hot summer day at a boring family reunion. Aunt Mae is on mission to hook up Josh with a good southern christian girl and Uncle Jed, her ex, comes to the rescue.

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Family reunions sucked. 

Held in the hot sweaty nut sack of summer, full of snooping relatives searching for the latest gossip.

“Josh, I know the perfect girl for you. She’s an Auburn girl. Good family.” Aunt Mae, my mom’s only sister, gave a sly wink before slapping my shoulder.

Sloshing my back beans around on my plate, I said with a bit of side eye, “I just got out of a relationship.”

“Oh, you poor baby. I’m going to call her and ask her to come over, right after I steal my a few bones,” she said, as she barreled her way to the front of the line.

Dating wasn’t in the cards — especially not with a girl, and guys my age weren’t my type. Older guys were more experienced.

Uncle Jed, the resident ladies’ man, pulled up a chair and remarked, “Looks like Mae is attempting to play matchmaker.” He took a gulp of his beer and let out a loud burp, which startled the nearby kiddies.

Nodding. “Seems that way.”

Jed had been going through a rough patch. Aunt Mae had suddenly developed a fancy for younger men and had unceremoniously dumped Jed. Crazy woman.

Jed, a man in his 40s, carried himself with the confidence and charm of a Hollywood leading man. With a strong jawline and chiseled features, he had the kind of rugged good looks that turned heads wherever he went. His piercing blue eyes were like pools of ice, mesmerizing and intense, yet somehow warm and inviting. Even the mere thought of him sent shivers down my spine.

He had a lean, athletic build that hinted at his active lifestyle, and his broad shoulders and muscular arms were a testament to his physical strength.

But it wasn’t just his physical attributes that made Jed so attractive. He had a certain magnetism, a spark in his eyes that suggested he was a man who knew what he wanted and how to get it. His voice was deep and soothing, like a warm blanket on a cold winter’s night. And when he smiled, it was as if the universe lit up around him.

Yes, Jed was a man who was impossible to ignore. 

His eye cut sharply towards Aunt Mae. “I can’t believe I stayed married to the ol’ bat for so long.” He cracked a half smile as he sucked down the last bit of his brew. “But I’ve moved on… to better things, you know?” His gaze turned to me.

I felt my stomach flip-flop as Jed’s gaze landed on me. Was he hitting on me? I couldn’t be sure, but the way his eyes lingered on mine made me feel like there was something more there.

As he leaned in closer, his voice low and husky, my heart rate quickened. “You know, Joey,” he said, “I’ve always thought there was something special about you.”

My breath caught in my throat as I tried to process what he was saying. Was he really coming on to me?

But then, just as quickly as the moment had come, it was gone. Jed leaned back in his chair, his attention now on Aunt Mae as she gossiped at the beverage table.

I tried to shake off the feeling and focus on the conversation. “What kind of better things?”

Jed chuckled, “Well, for starters, I have a new lady friend. Nothing exclusive.” He leaned in closer, and I couldn’t help but notice the twinkle in his eye. “But enough about me. What about you? Seeing anyone special?”

I knew I had to tread carefully. I didn’t want to upset Aunt Mae. ”I’m not seeing anyone right now,” I said, trying to sound casual. “Just focusing on my career.”

Jed nodded, as if he understood. “Smart move. But don’t forget to enjoy life too, Joey. You’re a young man with a lot of potential.”

As Jed’s gaze lingered on me, I couldn’t resist playing along. With a sly grin, I leaned in closer, my voice low and teasing.

“Well, Jed,” I said, “I’ve always thought there was something special about you, too.”

He raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Oh really?”

I nodded, my heart beating a little faster. “Yeah. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be with a rugged cowboy like you?”

Jed chuckled, the sound sending shivers down my spine. “Well, Joey, I’m flattered. But I’m not sure you can handle all this cowboy charm.”

I grinned, feeling the heat rising to my cheeks. “Oh, I think I can.” 

For a moment, there was a flicker of something in Jed’s eyes. Was it surprise? Interest? Drunk? I couldn’t be sure, but I felt a rush of excitement at the thought that maybe, just maybe, there was something more between us.

As the conversation turned to other topics and the night wore on, I found myself stealing glances at Jed whenever I could. There was something about him that drew me in, something that made me feel alive and vibrant in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Jed stood up abruptly from the chair, breaking the flow of the conversation. “Excuse me,” he said, his voice low and urgent. “I gotta take a leak.” He cast a quick glance over his shoulder.

Aunt Mae stammered over with a big smile and a full plate. I tried to avoid her by navigating through the throng of cousins. However, a firm grip seized my arm. It was Jed.

“Want to get out of here?” he asked.

I nodded in agreement, fetched a couple of beers from the cooler, and followed Jed to the house.

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We settled onto the porch swing, positioned for privacy yet still able to observe the lively crowd. “Thirsty?” I offered him a drink, and we sat in comfortable silence, listening to the drunken laughter and loud conversations. “So, about those ‘better things’ you mentioned earlier,” I asked, trying to hide my eagerness. 

“I think you already know,” he replied with a suggestive smirk. Jed pulled a small box from his pocket and revealed a joint, which he lit up and passed to me. 

I took a deep inhale, coughing and wheezing as the smoke filled my lungs. Jed chuckled heartily and patted my back to ease the fit. Taking a long drag, he leaned back and exhaled towards the stars. “I know about you,” he said, turning his attention to me. 

I feigned ignorance, taking another hit before exhaling. “What about me?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. 

“We share the same desires,” he said, picking up a piece of straw and chewing on it thoughtfully. “You enjoy getting fucked, don’t you Josh?” he said boldly, not flinching at the intensity of his words.

I looked over towards the stable. “I like to fuck too,” I smiled, then lifted off the porch. “How about a ride?” I pointed to the stable.

As soon as the words fell from my lips, he was up and we were off to the stable, prepping the horses for a ride. As Jed readied his steed, I couldn’t help but glance down at his muscular arms as he flung his saddle over the horse.

“You ride often?” he asked, checking over the saddle.

“Not as often as I’d like. The smell of hay and leather was familiar as I climbed onto a horse for the first time in ages. “She’s beautiful. Strong,” I said, threading my fingers through her mane.

Jed’s eyes slid over me. “Is that right? Well, maybe you should get in some practice. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.”

My eyes lingered over Jed’s frame and noticed the growing bulge in his jeans. He walked over, then grabbed me by my waist and pulled me from the horse. 

His crotch pressed against my ass as his breath fell on the back of my neck. Jed’s hands moved underneath my tee, then down my front, unbuckling my belt before sliding his hands inside.

Jed whispered in my ear. “You like that?” His lips met mine and his tongue crept in and explored my mouth. I playfully pushed him away. My hands reached for the open stable door to close it, giving us a little privacy.

“Get your ass over here.” Jed reached for my neck and pulled me towards him. His lips locked with mine while he pulled me into an empty stall.

We both crashed to the cool wood plank floor. I unzipped his jeans, then pulled them down to his worn leather boots. His thick shaft stood fully erect underneath his grey boxer briefs. I ran my hands underneath, cupping his balls.

After kicking off his boots, he removed his jeans and boxers.

I moved down and slid his boots back on. “Keep ‘em on.” I smiled. My hands moved up his toned thighs, up to his low hanging balls. Jed’s thick shaft curved slightly to the right. He held the base of his shaft, swinging it about… teasing me.

“You waiting for an invitation or something?” he asked, pulling my head down to the tip of his cock.

My lips kissed the head of his dick as translucent salty goodness oozed down the shaft. I squeezed his cock from the base to the top, forcing it from his tip as my tongue lapped up the juices. He leaned forward, tracing his tongue over my lips.

With my tongue, I placed his balls into my mouth. His moans grew louder as I rolled them around in my mouth as I tugged on his shaft with slow, steady strokes. I could feel his balls throb in my mouth.

I released his balls and slowly licked up the sides of his dick and hungrily took him into my mouth. He let out a hard moan as I swallowed his dick down to the base. 

His hand pressed my head down, causing me to gag. Tears streamed down my left cheek as I opened my throat to accommodate him. I felt his dick expand as I bobbed up and down, applying pressure as I tongued his mushroom head.

I pulled back, ruffling my shirt at the bottom and lifting it over my head. Jed continued to stroke his cock as he watched me undress. He reached for my chest, moving his hands down my torso, then down my pants, grabbing my cock as he motioned up.

I pushed him back down as I crawled on top of him. Moving between his legs, I spread them wide and went back to work, cupping his balls with my left hand, and tightening my lips as I slid up and down his dick.

I flipped him over and he looked back with a worried look. “Don’t worry, I’m a professional,” I said, spreading his ass cheeks. 

Licking my fingers, I slid them down his ass crack, pausing at his tight hole. My tongue eased down and lingered at his hole, lapping back and forth until it relented and allowed me to enter. His tight hole tightened the deeper my tongue explored. His body tensed. I reached around and stroked his cock while I continued to feast on his cheeks.

His hips swayed side to side as he raised his back and reached for me, fisting my hair and pushing me deeper, so I introduced my middle finger. “Oh, no.” Jed turned with a worried look. “My turn.” 

He stood and lifted me up, pressing me hard against the wall, my back to him. My cock was hard, dripping with pre-cum. He ran his hands down my thighs, causing my pants to drop to the floor.

Jed eased my jeans from my ankles and threw them across the way. He made his way slowly back up my thighs, taking his time, using his tongue, tracing up my inner quivering thighs.

“Relax,” he said, kissing the back of my neck. “I’m a professional.”

My body tensed and ass muscles clamped down around his cock. The tip of his head pressed into my hole, stretching my walls. The force of Jed’s thrusts pressed my body further into the wall as his breath landed on my neck. 

His pace quickened. His hands gripped my waist tightly as he stabbed my hole without mercy. I fell to the ground as my legs gave way.

He pressed my back down and pulled my ass high in the air. Jed steered his dick deep into my ass, sending shock waves throughout my body — sending eye-rolling shivers down my spine.

His hands ran the length of my sweat drenched back. He was close to unleashing his load inside me. He pulled out slowly and turned me on my back and slid between my legs. I closed my eyes as his tongue licked up the edge of my hard shaft. I surrendered to his warm mouth, fisting his hair, and driving him down onto my cock.

His lips dragged down to my balls and took each one into his mouth. Jed’s finger slipped into my hole and expertly massaged me. I tried to guide his head down to my ass, but he had other plans. He crawled up my body, licking his way to my lips. His sly tongue explored the depths of my mouth as he stroked my cock.

I wanted him back inside me. I pushed him over onto his back and moved down on his dick, flexing my ass muscles as I worked every inch into my wet hole. Jed felt amazing. The slight discomfort turned into overflowing pleasure as he gripped my ass and repeatedly slammed me down on his shaft.

My hands roamed about his chest as he pressed my hips down onto his cock. His thrusts sped up and his long strokes turned into quick stabs. Sweat dripped from my face as I rode him, begging him to fuck me deeper. 

Harder. 

Faster.

He flipped me over, then tilted my ass up as he climbed on top. His warm salvia dripped into my hole, lubricating the path for a deep dicking. Collapsing under the pressure, a chorus of rhythmic sloshing accompanied the feeling of his firm hands pushing against me.

The sounds of sex filled the stall while he grabbed my shoulders and pushed his dick in as far as it would go. Heavy grunts escaped my lips as I felt his shaft move deeper inside me.

“Your ass is so fucking tight. That’s it, clamp down on my dick, boy.” His hand made its way down to my cock, pumping it quickly and matching his rhythm. A massive orgasm welled inside me.

Jed’s right hand wrapped around my neck, giving it a tight squeeze as he continued to fuck and stroke me. He lavished monkey bites along my neck. I let out a solid grunt as cum gushed from my cock, causing my body to jerk uncontrollably. 

As Jed pulled out, I braced myself, but then he stopped and slammed his dick back inside me. His assault on my hole continued. He pulled my hands up and away from my body, pinning them to the floor.

I let out a sound of both agony and ecstasy as Jed unloaded inside me, overloading me with his warm cream. Collapsing onto me, panting, his cock pulsated inside of me.

As we dressed in silence, a sense of unease settled over me. Jed tugged on my waist, his tone dripping with suggestion. “Fuck the reunion. Let’s go to my hotel and break a bed,” he whispered.

“Let’s go!” Excitement mixed with apprehension as I headed towards the door to grab my other shoe. But as I turned, I caught a glimpse of a pair of eyes watching us through a crack in the wall. I froze, my heart pounding in my chest.

“I hope they enjoyed the show,” Jed joked, nonchalantly finishing tucking in his shirt. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.

Who was watching?

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Josh and Jed will return!